Friday, February 1, 2013

Top 5 reasons it's OK to skip church for the Super Bowl

So ... Super Bowl Sunday is this Sunday. It's the Super Bowl, but it's Sunday. Decisions, decisions.

Do you go to church or fake BigGame-itis to stay home? You know you are wrestling with this dilemma, if your church actually has services Sunday night.

Well, some of you are debating whether you need to stay home on Sunday morning, so you can get the food ready and watch the pregame show that started some time last week.

I can't help you there, but for everyone else, I'm going to give you all the excuses you need to skip church for the Super Bowl.

Just make sure you coordinate with the other football (commercial) fans in your church, so you don't try to give the same excuse when your pastor asks you if you can help with the nursery Sunday night.

Here are the top 5 reasons it's perfectly OK to skip church on Sunday Bowl Sunday.



5. Ray Lewis wears a Bible verse under his jersey – It's like a sermon on a shirt. Of course, it's a lot shorter than your pastor's sermon, a LOT shorter. But God's word is powerful, right? Even if Lewis didn't get it quite right.

You know what else is powerful? Ray Lewis' new face mask. That might actually be a reason to go to church. I'm fairly certain I've been seeing that in my nightmares. Can we have a Super Bowl party / exorcism?

4. "When in Rome do as the Romans do" – That's in the Bible, right? I mean it has to be in Romans somewhere, doesn't it? I know the Bible talks about Rome and that certainly sounds like a Jesus-y thing to say.

OK, so that's not really in the Bible, but it could be and that's good enough on questionable calls, isn't it? People make up their own Bible verses all the time. There's a decent chance your pastor won't even be able to tell the difference. Use this excuse if you feel like gambling (it's cheaper than losing money betting on the coin toss or how many time the announcers will refer to the game as the Har-bowl).

3. You don't want to be a pharisee – If you have to, play the legalism card. It's almost like a "Get Out of Doing the Right Thing Free" card. You can just say you don't want to come across as a pharisee and you gain all types of new freedoms.

Someone asks you to teach a class at church? "Well, I feel like if I did any more I would start to be spiritually arrogant. I don't want to be a pharisee." Boom. Works every time, especially when it comes to attending questionable services like Super Bowl Sunday, your birthday, that really pretty day a few weeks back, the Sunday it was raining kinda heavy and, of course, Christmas Eve.

2. Fellowship – One word. It's all you need, especially if you are Baptist. You can excuse almost anything, if you serve food at it and label it as a fellowship.

Just invite some friends over to watch the game with you. If they are from your church, then you just call it a church fellowship. If they go to a different church, it's cross-church fellowship. If your friends don't go to any church. Easiest of all. Evangelistic outreach.

1. Tim Tebow might show up – You can't miss that. What kind of Christian would you be if you did not stay home to make sure you catch a glimpse of the Pope of Football? You will want the New York Jets (for now) back-up QB to bless you and your sport viewing experience.

Your pastor may try to guilt you, but remember that Tebow is closer to Jesus than your pastor. No good follower of Jesus would pass up the opportunity to see him, perhaps even touch the hem of his jersey through your television screen. Just don't count on Tebow to fix a flaw in your throwing mechanics. His powers don't extend that far.
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Is your church having services Super Bowl Sunday night? If so, are you going? If you aren't going, what excuse are you giving?

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